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寂寞不寂寞

看见天色渐渐入黑,他曾告诉我最美的是在最后一道光。
相陪我的是那车水马龙的街道,还有穿梭在繁忙的人群中。每天总是那么匆忙地追赶列车,彷佛那是最后一班车似的。放工后,并没有马上回家。我放慢了所有的脚步,即使听到了那笛声,火车的启动,但我还是慢慢的走上月台,也耐心等待人群的喧闹结束。
不管在火车上,在街道上,在月台,你我他上演的不过是singular or plural form而已。

黯然的心里莫名的寂寞感孤独感来敲我的门。意识下,我知道我得与他们相处才能唤醒沉睡的开朗与快乐。离开了月台,徒步到隔壁街的麦当劳,徘徊在店外想着该打包匆忙的离开还是静静在个舒服的位置坐下慢慢享用呢。结果一推开门,看见靠着落地窗的有个空位,点了自己爱吃的套餐,优雅地坐在那个靠窗的位置。
隔壁桌的是两个朋友在聊天,前面一点是一个还蛮壮的男士,看来不是我一个人而已。当然每当有顾客推门进来很明显眼光会落在我身上,我的位置太显眼了。一个女生就这么坐在那吃还蛮奇怪的,既不是游客也不是男儿身。

店里是很安静的,楼下比较热闹,人比较多;相比我那楼层还蛮大差异的。
进来的顾客,可以是单身只影的,他们有些看起来很匆忙,也许一天唯一能享用的就是这餐,也许吃完这餐还得继续拼搏,写在他们脸上的表情是否能judge他们的内心呢?遇友人相伴的有说有笑的,看起来很轻松很愉快。我低着头,看看自己的影子,寂寞的孤独的。好像我就是个独行侠。这天找个人喝茶聊天也不懂能找谁。原来我交际并没那么好。回顾过去,我没有一个好朋友真的能一直陪伴我,像故事里头那些的,一起上课下课坐在一起一直讲话的对象,到了某个阶段,这些朋友会默然离开我的舞台,在台上主角还是我,但是身边的伙伴慢慢的少去。这不是现实,只不过是事实。

有人说过,朋友是过客。
那么在电话簿上的朋友是否也是过客呢?



凝望着桌上的套餐,突然想起有她陪我吃着套餐,与我分享这套餐的她,那时候我们会约好一起去吃,也从不放飞机,这样维持了好几年;往后的日子陪我吃的很少有她的身影,我们也不怎么一起光顾了。然后又到了一段日子,我和她相约不再是在麦当劳了,而是戏院,k房,她应验了他那句~朋友是过客。
一口一口啃下去的不是纯属填饱肚子食物而是带有她给我那窝心的回忆。【她】是我老妈。


笑一个吧!



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