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一种新的体验

来到这里,很多事情很多问题很多习惯都得一个人去面对去应付。不是说朋友不够义气还是说人缘不好。我指的是,一个人的坚强于内心的强大。(看似有点说的无敌铁精钢)

我该怎么说呢
不是不习惯一个人睡觉,只是不习惯在一个陌生的环境,自己一个人睡觉。
没有人拥我入睡,没有人牵着我的手睡觉。
被疆梦惊醒的那刻,没有能拥抱得人在你身边。
对,我害怕一个人,尤其在哪漆黑的空间,感觉有种无形的怪物会把我吞咽

有种怪毛病,总是需要有个人在我身边,给我一个拥抱阻止我的胡思乱想,停止我无聊的遐想,推我一把好好面对考试的压力(虽然我知道考试压力并不怎么样)。
难过开心的时候,少了那么一个人我想去跟他分享(我承认我很叽喳)
有时候,我真的有股冲动想长篇大论的写一封email给他,告诉他我心里的变化,我周遭的事,人。只是,他是谁?写给自己吗?呵呵,可以不要把自己搞得那么可怜孤单吗?

我承认我比较感性,我不能理性去想一件事情。
我清楚知道自己的理性会让自己失去该有的感觉。与其当个理性的人,请让我耍耍感性,在我这浪漫的国度,感性无罪。

在没有离开家之前,以为每件事情的发生,是理所当然的。
远离了温暖大大的拥抱,我懂的我以前多么不顾别人的感受,多么的高傲不削别人的付出
我仔细观察这里的没一切,包括天空的颜色,空气中溢满的气味,那是我一个人的见证。

一个人真的不可怕,只怕在还没找到一个很好的伴侣(指的不一定是情人,也能是好朋友),自己已经习惯怀念过去。当我想念朋友的时候,我看着大家曾经拍下的照片,我想着我们一路的风风雨雨,想着想着,嘴角上扬,过去的多么不愉快,像是被这里的风吹散了。摸不着也抓不住难过的尾巴。原来一切变得是美好的回忆。

像老爸说的,我像个迷一样的女孩,老是抓不到我的踪影,来到这里我更想家了。看见美丽的东西,我都会想要带回家跟他们分享。以前,我在家话不多,老是跟妈咪顶嘴。我离开了家,她说想念我的斗嘴,我说,我想念你。想念那个跟我斗嘴,冷战几天后会主动跟我说话的妈咪。因为在被家人宠坏的环境下,我不会顾虑别人的感受,想说什么就说什么,不开心开心全部写在脸上。我看不懂人情世故,也不懂做人处事的圆滑。

外面的天空,是否跟你们看见的一样呢?
天空再大,我和你们都在同一片天空下。

我一个人,很好。

Comments

Unknown said…
其实也许是因为这是你第一次离开家,独自在外生活吧...而且一离开就是三个月~想家却回不了家的感触自然日夜加深。
胡思乱想 - 每个人都会,当然同时也会希望有个人陪...不需安慰不需言语,只要静静陪在身边就好...因为压力难过悲伤时候,最需要的不是安慰不是面巾不是鼓励,而是另一个人的肩膀~ 因为寻找安全感。就好象在失去方向的时候,希望有个人带路的感觉。
家 - 爱并没有固定的表现形式...吵吵闹闹也是爱的表现。
说实话,不是马后炮噢!之前在这里发现原来你是家里的独身女时,还蛮惊讶蛮跌眼镜的!因为你的举动并不像咯!是有担心你会不习惯,因为这是你第一次离开家,而且还是家里的独身女...面对一些逆境时难免会慌乱失去方向...所以一直都在注意你的近况...后来发现会不会是我自己想太多了...还是其实只是你表面乐观而已呢...这就不得而知了。
我赞成你老爸的说法:你像个谜一样的女孩,抓不到踪影,更猜不透。
无论如何,希望你一切顺利...好好照顾自己!加油!XD

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