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赤裸裸的摊开心中的话语。

有意无意的有言语,得知他快要结婚了。不小心看见他们的合照,并没有多余的想法,只是,心中出现一句对白,一年没见了,那曾经熟悉的脸孔,那曾经让我日夜想念的脸孔,如今变得如此陌生,甚至突然有一种想法说,哦原来他长的这幅模样。当得知他结婚的消息,得知他回来的消息,心里不停问自己,会原谅他吗?曾经让我很生气,只是我不知道自己在气什么,现在情绪恢复了,我选择祝福了。过往的一切不想再去追究,不去提及。

当我眼见曾经的他,身边都有个好伴侣的时候,我都会认为分开是对的;我相信我不是个好伴侣。我连自己都搞不清楚,我依然是哪个有问题就想逃走的人,我依然是那个爱自己更多的那个人。

目前甚至有那种想法说,曾经的他,就像是泡沫,破灭以后,不再出现。对于过去的种种就像幻觉,你不确定那是自己的狂想曲还是实在的发生过,血淋淋的伤痛过。有美好的回忆,有不愿提起的故事,有时候只想让他沉默在自己世界里。挂起那微笑,挂起那副天真以为是永恒的态度,其实,我只是在骗人,骗着所有的人我能很洒脱。

日子久了,发现自己变脸的技术变好了,我可以人前人后不同的模样,我能在自己情绪不佳的时候,依然能笑脸盈盈的继续打交道。寻找自己的道路变得越来越模糊了,因为分不清那个是自己。

坚持的是什么?

我没有办法一直回首寻找遗失的自己,只愿在未来的某处,我能和我自己碰上。

但愿那时的我还没变质。

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